On Saturday evening my husband's aunt and her husband came over for dinner. We always have a wonderful time together with lots of laughter. Saturday evening was no exception. Also, as luck would have it, this particular get together gave me some great blog fodder. Therefore, today's edition of "He Said, She Said" will star H.(she) and D.(he) instead of my husband and me.
H. and D. have been married for almost 6 years. The story I am relating to you happened shortly after they were married.
H.: "D., D., wake up, wake up I think I heard something downstairs!"
D.: "Probably just a house noise, it'll be o.k. go back to sleep."
Small side note: What is the deal with men and the term "house noise"? It is something my husband uses to explain any and all strange noises in our home as well. What does that mean?! I think it means they don't want to be bothered with looking for the source of said noise. It never appeases me. I don't want to live in a house that has "noises". I would rather have an accounting for the innocuous source of the noise. "House noise" my foot. I always make him go look anyway. And now back to our regularly scheduled program...
H: "No, No you don't understand there's an intruder in the house."I'm sure of it!" You've gotta go, go check." (she can be very persuasive)
D: "Fine, I'll go." (they were newlyweds after all, don't want to upset the new wife) He gets out of bed and heads in a direction other than downstairs.
H: Whispers. "Where are you going?"
D: Whispers back. "I'm going to get my gun. If there is an intruder downstairs I'm going to at least be armed."
They now both sneak toward the stairs and begin creeping silently down, D. in front and H. staying at the top of the stairs.
H: At the top of her lungs. "Whoever's down there my husband's coming and he's got a gun!"
D: Looked at her like, what the @#$!* are you doing. Thinking all the while, "so much for the element of surprise. I've really got him where I want him now. Thank you honey."
#1. In this case it actually turned out to be a "house noise". Imagine that, they might actually exist.
#2. There is now an agreement in place that if there is ever another "intruder", there shall be no alerting the "would be felon" of the surprise attack.